Getting Back To Normal

After having a wonderful night's sleep in my own bed, I woke up. I woke up when I wanted to. No roosters or goats bleating. No voices outside of my bedroom window. It was nice, but different. On this day, I technically had nothing to do or anywhere to go. It was a good but strange feeling. Good in a way that I could relax and do what I wanted to do. Strange because I was so used to having a set schedule, and now there was none.

It was a very quiet day. Almost lonely.

I was so used to being surrounded by people constantly. Whether it was our team being squished into a taxi, having clinic, sitting around the compound, going to church, walking around to explore, eating meals, having devotionals, even sleeping together in the same room. There was always someone around.

I felt a little lost.

I unpacked my bags. Did some laundry. Normal stuff.

I found myself realizing small things. Not turning on any lights when I walked into a room. Not keeping the TV on, just to have it on. Not flushing the toilet (i.e. If it's yellow, let it mellow. If it's brown, flush it down.) Being able to have clear, cold, and clean water at my finger tips. Having a refrigerator full of food. Being able to have a stove, oven, and microwave to prepare meals in minutes. Doing laundry in my home. Having a telephone/cellphone nearby to call anyone, anytime. Having Tylenol in the medicine cabinet for my headache.

Little things that I realized before, but didn't appreciate nearly enough until now.

I had a couple of days off from work to rest, spend time with family, and get settled back into my normal routine. I loved sharing all of my stories with whoever wanted to hear them!

Before I knew it, it was time for me to go back to work. I was a little anxious because I felt like I had been away for so long. I was so used to being in Haiti and basically seeing patients myself (with other Doctors nearby of course). I really didn't know what to expect.

When I got to work, I was very happy to see all of my co-workers. They seemed happy to see me as well. People were very curious to hear about my trip and see pictures. I was thrilled to tell them everything I could and answer all the questions that came my way.

After I got report from the day shift I started seeing my patients. Things were going fine. Nothing out of hand or crazy. It seemed like a pretty normal night. I felt like I was a little behind (time wise), but everything was okay.

All of a sudden, I got totally and completely overwhelmed. It was like a wave hit me. To be completely honest, I have no idea exactly what prompted it. I didn't know what was wrong and why I was feeling that way. I had to take a few minutes to gather myself and my thoughts together. I got really hot and began bawling crying. My wonderful co-workers were immediately at my side to make sure I was okay and to take over with whatever needed to be done at that moment. I am so thankful for them. I called my mother on the phone and through my blubbering, told her what was going on. She immediately began praying for me. She prayed for peace to cover me. It was exactly what I needed.

From that moment on, I was covered in peace. I was able to pull myself together and do my job. I got through the rest of my shift totally fine. I still have no idea where my mini breakdown came from, but I am so glad that it did not last long. I am happy to report that that was my only "episode" and I am fine! When I think about it now, it actually makes me laugh because it seems so ridiculous.

I was able to talk to a few of the veterans about my breakdown and they all told me that it was just my "re-entry" and it was totally normal. Everyone has a "re-entry" period after returning from a mission trip. For some, it may not be as obvious as mine was. For others, it may be worse or for a longer period of time. I heard many different "re-entry" stories from the veterans, but never thought that I would have had one! I am glad that I am not the only one and now know that I am not a complete nut case!

Coming up next...Ready for the next trip!